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well... I haven't posted on here in a long while... life has been busy and hectic this past year. plus I became addicted to MySpace, Sims 2, NWN

basically in a nutshell 2006 kind of sucked over all... though it did have its good times. The worst of this past year was my dad being diagonised with colon cancer, that happened in August, but back in June we found out he had anemia which led us to finding the cancer. he had surgery in mid August then was in and out of the hospital with some complications. over Labor Day weekend he suffered a diabetic seizure, he ended up being taking to the ER via ambo. he got admitted and his blood sugar was brought undercontrol, only after giving us a big scare, I was just happy that my brother and sister in law were here at the time. Jill is a L&D nurse and was able to help with him till the ambo crew got to the house. I think that was the worst part of 2006 other then me working way too much especially since for half the year I held two jobs.

in Jan of 06, I got my first tattoo, then in November I got my second one.

August went to OzzFest with Clay, Obi and Jared... what a blast that was.. Loved seeing Lacuna Coil and Disturbed and Avenged Sevenfold rocked too... Ozzy was great...

May flew out to Iowa to see my sister and the girls had a great trip. then they came out for two weeks for Christmas this year. so my parents had a very full house on Christmas.... but it was great having the whole family here for once.

though this year I did get to see a few old friends from high school as we had our 10 year reunion. the reunion was well yeah I'll leave it at that... I'm glad we had one though.

Obi moved to York, PA in November, she seems happy which is good. though I hope to get together with her some time soon.

Tores and I had some rough times with our friendship this year over something stupid... we didn't talk for a while but we are working things out now which is good, though I have always known that she has never been the easist person to get along with and well was a real bitch at times, but she will be the first to tell you that she's a bitch lol

Dean and Vonnie got married this past year and moved away to western Maryland we see them every few weekends... Gene and Beth's marriage finally ended this past year which has been hard on him.. but over all he's doing pretty good. Jamie and Cross are expecting their second baby and they are very excited about the baby.

relationship wise this past year was horrible to me heh but 2007 it will be better

in the spring this year I'll be going to Germany, then in the summer I'm going to see Cal Ripkin Jr be inducted into the Hall of Fame up in Cooperstown NY I'm excited for both of these to happen. Then in August most likely I'll be going to Iowa for the State Fair and seeing my sister and the girls again.

I'm hoping that 2007 is a much better year for me over all... not that 2006 sucked so bad as it might have seemed... I made some really good friends this past year and I'm glad I met them.

well I haven't posted in forever... well my life lately has really been screwed up...

first things first I guess... well I realized I'm still in love with Clay. I realized he's what is missing in my life. the beginning of August Obi and I went up to Canada to visit him. well while I was there I realized this. no wait I take that back I realized it before that. when Obi and I started hanging out again. we were talking about things and he came up in our conversation and well I realized that I still did care for him and the more her and I talked we realized how much we needed the guys back in our lives... Clay is like my unreachable star... the one thing I'm not suppose to be able to reach and have. I don't know why everything comes back to him. I really don't. he's who I always turn to when I break up with some one, he's the one I turn to when I need some one to talk to. he's the one I want to hold me when I'm crying, he's the one who I want to comfort me. and yes he's the one I want as the father of my children! I don't understand it at all though. but he means that much to me. and yet I don't think I mean that much to him.

I mean don't get me wrong Doug is a great guy, but as it seems lately he's not around. I haven't talked to him in what seems like 3 weeks and yes I am worried to death about him, because I know he has been ill all summer long. I needed to talk to him this past week but unfortantly I wasn't able to. that doesn't help things between us at all. I know he loves me and wants to give me the world. and I do love him but as to how I do I just don't know yet. every time we try to plan a weekend together something happens and it's frustrating, I mean one weekend I even took time off and well I didn't know he was in the hospital till that weekend, I was upset and even mad at him yet I know it wasn't his fault.... *sighs* as I said it's just frustrating, then at one time our work schedules were making it hard for us to talk... and now I haven't talked to him since shortly after I got back from Canada... I miss him I really do... but I can't keep having my heart jerked around anymore.

I realy don't think my heart can take much more of this at all... with Clay I can pick up the phone and call him when I need some one to talk to... but with Doug I can't... I don't have his number... it just makes it hard especially when there are times like this when I don't hear from him.

I just feel like a screw up in every single thing I do now days nothing seems to be right anymore...

hopefully next month Obi is moving in with me... and hopefully Clay is visiting in October... if not then hopefully he will be down in November... that I'm excited about... and I'm hoping that for Thanksgiving to be going to South Carolina.... that should be fun

Last person who...


1. Slept in your bed: me

2. Saw you cry: mom

3. Made you cry: not going there

4. You went to the movies with: Jenni, Jeff and Jasen

5. You went to the mall with: Obi

6. One thing you could take back: not going there either


Have You Ever...

1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: yes

2. Got in a fight with your pet: don't have a pet

3. Been to California: no nor do I really wish to go there

4. Been to Mexico: nada

5. Been to China: do I look rich?

6. Been to Canada: hell yeah! going again in August

7. Been to Europe: one day

8. Danced naked: *looks around with shifty eyes*

9. Wish you were the opposite sex: no

Random...

1. Do you have a crush on someone: maybe

2. What book are you reading now: Night Pleasures by Sherrilyn Kenyon - it's a great book you should read it too!

3. Worst feeling in the world: realizing your dreams aren't going to come true...

4. Future kids' names: haven't decided yet

5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yes Dimi-pup once again LOL

6. What's under your bed: clothes and shoes and canibals that eat random things in my room

7. Favorite sport to watch: NASCAR! when I have time to watch that is

8. Location: a room with four walls that are paint light green in a house some where in MD HA!

9. Piercings/Tattoos: piercings for now no tattoos yet

10. Do you drink: of course!

11. What are you most scared of: death

12. Where do you want to get married: on a beach I think

13. Who do you really hate: deciteful people

14. Do you have a job: yep

15. Do you like being around people: some times LOL

16. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: who hasn't?

17. Have you ever cried: who hasn't?

18. Are you lonely right now: not really

19. Song that's stuck in your head a lot: Sugar Pie Honey Bunch


Have You Ever....

1. Been in love: yep

2. Played strip poker: haha

3. Gotten beaten up: no

4. Done an all nighter: yes

5. Been on radio/tv: no

6. Been in a mosh-pit: yep! Korn PIT!!!! woohooo

7. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends: who doesn't now days?

8. Skinny dipped: yep


In the last 24 Hours have you...

1. Cried: no

2. Bought something: KISS shirt

3. Gotten sick: nah

4. Sang: dude I am right now!

5. Been kissed: in my dreams last night LOL

6. Had sex: in my dream last night LOL j/k

7. Felt stupid: wait when doen't I?

8. Talked to an ex: yes

9. Missed someone: oh yeah

10. Hugged someone: yep

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